You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I want to have your abortion
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
