around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize