she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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