what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
