Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
