Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You don't make any sense
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