The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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