i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
