oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
