I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
