I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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