And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
