I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize