I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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