Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
