I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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