i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Life without a bra equals bliss.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
wow bdsm is so cute
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