Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
