Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He did a backflip because drugs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
