I need help removing her.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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