After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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