East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Panties = found
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