using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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