i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
