im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
