Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
