Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
