I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
