Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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