I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Randomize