Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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