dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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