Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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