i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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