apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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