i permit you to call me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
