Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize