Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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