Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
