on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
