Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
