Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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