Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize