I just cut my nipple shaving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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