He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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