I wish they made helmets for livers.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
