So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
