whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize