LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
