When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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