my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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