while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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