My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Randomize