can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
