broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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