he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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