Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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