omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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