But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
They have beer where we have blood.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
