its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
