I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
