How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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