well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
