just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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