porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
