; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Randomize