so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
