is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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