She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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