I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This house was built for laser tag.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
