Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
